A Snarky Guide To The Differences Between Christmas And Hanukkah

This is actually very educational. Nothing quite like laughter to make you learn a thing or two.

Check it out:

Here in the U.S. we are already into the “holiday” season which begins officially on Thanksgiving. One sad thing about the end of the year holidays is that most Jews do not understand Christmas…and most Christians don’t get Hanukkah. And while the Christians still have three weeks till Christmas, Hanukkah starts this coming Sunday night 12/6 so as a public service it’s time for me to explain the difference between the two (in my own snarky way).

Below are 18 difference between Christmas and Chankuah, all of it true (IMHO) some of it snarky:

1. Christmas is one day, same day every year, December 25. Jews also celebrate December 25th…it’s a paid day off work. We go to movies (there are no lines) and our annual Christmas pilgrimage to get Chinese food (a traditional Jewish food)— Chanukah is 8 days. It starts the evening of the 24th day of the Hebrew month of Kislev, whenever that falls. Most Jews never know when that day falls on the secular calendar until a non-Jewish friend asks when Chanukah starts. A question which force us to consult a calendar provided free from the kosher butcher or the local Jewish Funeral Home.

2. There is only one way to spell Christmas. No one can decide how to spell Chanukah, Chanukkah, Chanukka, Channukah, Hanukah, Hannukah, etc. I like to use them all–even in the same post.

3. Christmas is a major Christian holiday. Chanukah is a minor Jewish holiday. Chanukkah is only a big deal in America because Jewish parents wanted their kids to be able to brag about getting gifts also. But that is a American-Jewish fabrication. Hanukkah isn’t mentioned in the Torah, it was created by rabbis. Now that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but bigger holidays like Passover and Sukkot for example were designated by God. And God outranks the rabbis (which is a fact that some rabbis agree with).

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