Why the Left Loves Soccer: You Can Win by Trying and Losing

It’s a communist plot.
Check it out:

I think we now know why the left loves soccer so much. You can win by trying. You can even win by losing. Okay, so, what was it, Sunday night, whenever the USA played Portugal, it was a tie. And I was told, “Well, that’s it for the US. Portugal advances.”

“Wait a minute. It was a tie. How can anybody win anything here?”

“Well, it’s just the way it is.”

“Well, why is it the way it is? How come a tie means that we lose and they win?”

“Well, you’re not supposed to ask that. It’s just the way it is.”

Okay. So I’m figuring that’s it for the USA. And then I was told, no, no, no, no, if they play Germany — and we got a good chance against Germany, we beat ’em in a couple world wars — then we could get back in the good graces of FIFA. So we played Germany today and we lost. But no. We advance because of the Portugal game. But wait, we tied the Portugal game. We tied the Portugal game. We lost the game against Germany, and we advance. No wonder the left loves this. You win by trying. You even win when you lose. It’s impossible to keep up with it. But it explains a lot, does it not?

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