Dang. He was going to be a lot of fun to watch in the primaries.
“My mother believed and my father believed that if I wanted to be president of the United States, I could be, I could be vice president!”
— Vice President Joseph R. Biden, campaigning in Youngstown, Ohio, on May 16, 2012
Yes, that much is true: The plagiarist with the slow-grow hair plugs and the chipmunk fake teeth and the made-up stories about heroics on the football field who quietly won five student draft deferments during the Vietnam War really did become vice president. And this much is clear: He took the gig, after something like 87 years in the Senate, because he knew in his tiny heart of hearts that that was the end of the line.
But no, Ma and Pa Biden were wrong: Their wunderboy Joey, despite his hardscrabble Scranton roots and spectacular work ethic (he did hold an actual job for some 18 months before going on the government dole 43 years ago) will not grow up to be the president of the United States. He’s already tried twice, in 1988 and again in 2008 (the latter after giving voters a full generation to forget why they didn’t like him the first time around).