The Drive-Bys, folks, are excited because it’s possible that the College of Cardinals might elect an American pope. And that would signify that America is no longer the ruling nation of the world. The reason why — some of you newly arrived low-information people, I realize very few of you admit to being a low-information voter until you stop and think about it, but in one sense you know who you are. There’s no shame in it. Everybody has to start out somewhere. Have you ever wondered why the UN secretary’s never been an American?

Have you wondered why the UN secretary is always a minority of some kind? It’s because the US is this evil, dominating superpower that already runs the world, and it would be an absolute disaster to have another American in charge of a world body. That would just be over the top too much. That means that we could jam freedom down everybody’s throat. That means that we could impose our horrible, ugly, racist, sexist, bigoted homophobic way of life on everybody. But we can’t do that because the powers that be would never put an American in charge.

It’s the same way with a pope. The idea of an American pope would be insulting to the rest of the world because we already run the rest of the world. I mean, this is the thinking. But now somehow it’s leaked out of there that an American pope could be chosen. Timothy Cardinal Dolan of New York, one of the American members of the College of Cardinals, thought to be a possibility. You’ll hear the sound bites coming up. The Drive-Bys are all excited ’cause that means the American nation, the United States, has lost status. No longer a big, mean, dominating superpower, and for that we can thank Barack Obama.