Robert Griffin III

Yesterday, he only threw for 100 yards against the Dallas Cowboys, but it was enough to lift the Washington Redskins to an unlikely NFC East division title and a spot in the NFL playoffs. Today, all Robert Griffin III would have to do is walk into the Capitol building, and an immediate bipartisan consensus on a fiscal cliff deal would begin to form.

It is tempting to imagine the news reports:

Griffin described how he overcame a knee injury to lead the home team to a series of unlikely victories, finding new support in players like running back Alfred Morris. Enraptured lawmakers immediately signed off on a Republican proposal to end state and local tax deductions in return for dropping changes to Social Security’s benefit structure.

As the 2011 Heisman Trophy humbly described how the Redskins overcame a tough start to surpass the Super Bowl champion New York Giants, legislators quietly agreed to make the Bush tax cuts permanent, as the GOP had wanted, while retaining a higher estate tax rate, as Democrats had demanded.

“Who wants to think about the ‘death tax’ when there’s another week of football to live for?” gasped a star-struck Republican committee chair.

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