Al Jazeera is reporting that American and Israeli flags are being burned in London. Israeli and US flags being burned in London according to Al Jazeera. We know that the University of Texas has evacuated their campus after a phoned-in bomb threat from Al-Qaeda. No bombs were found. Fargo, North Dakota, state university has ordered all employees and students off campus after receiving a bomb threat. But everything’s okay because I got an e-mail from the Obama campaign. Ambassadors are being murdered, former SEALs are dying, embassies are burning across the Middle East, but don’t worry, we have finally outraised Romney. Right there it is, folks. That’s the e-mail. There it is. There’s the picture of Obama smiling at the podium. “In August, we finally outraised Mitt Romney and the Republicans. Don’t let it be the last time.”

I mentioned, ladies and gentlemen, that I’m confused. See, I remember that when Bush was president, Abu Ghraib was going to incite Muslims all over the world. And what happened at Abu Ghraib? Well, we had the pyramid. We had panties on the heads of Islamist terrorists. Club Gitmo was open, where we were creating terrorists. And all of this was because of Bush. All we had to do was get rid of Bush, and there would be universal love and respect for America once again. There wouldn’t be any of this, and even if there were, idiots with cameras, the world wouldn’t care what those idiots with cameras did because Obama was in office and we didn’t have Bush anymore.

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