Media Overjoyed: Genealogists Link Obama to the First Slave… But They Can’t Prove It

They found slave blood in Obama’s genealogical trace. Oh, yes, they did, Mr. Snerdley. Yes, they did. But, but it’s on his mother’s side. White woman. It’s not on the side of his father, Barack Hussein Obama! “Mmm! Mmm!” Sr.

The AP, folks, they are overjoyed. “A team of genealogists has found evidence that Barack Obama…” (panting) could be, it might be, it could be, it is, slave blood. That’s right. The first recorded slave. Not just any old slave, but Obama’s slave blood is traceable to the first slave, which, after Eve was created, was Adam. I kid. Here’s the story.

“A team of genealogists has found evidence that President Barack Obama could be a descendent of an African slave — but not through the lineage of his black father, the most likely route researchers had followed and exhausted.” Oh, yeah, there has been an exhaustive search. They’ve been searching DNA, red blood cells, white blood cells, blue blood, red blood, white, they’ve been search everything. They’ve been tracing markers and guardrails, anything they could find, and they’d exhausted it all. “The link, genealogists with Ancestry.com said Monday –” yesterday, for those of you in Rio Linda, “– is, in fact, through an examination of his white mother’s family history. ‘We were surprised and excited to make that connection,’ said Joseph Shumway, a member of the Utah-based Ancestry.com team.

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