You know what this is? There is gonna be a big bash, a $40,000 a plate fundraiser, at Clooney’s house tonight in Hollywood. You know what’s gonna happen? Obama’s gonna get there, and all these people are gonna see him speak, and they’re gonna applaud him, “Mr. President, guts, courage.” Nothing’s changed. In fact, Obama hasn’t even signed the nondiscrimination executive order. He hasn’t even signed it. And this is something that gay rights groups have been pushing, and he’s refused to sign it. He continues to refuse to sign it. When it comes time to put teeth to this, Obama keeps the mouth closed. He’s not moving legally, forcefully at all on this. He’s just out there talking, but he’s not moving the ball forward at all. But he’s gonna get praised, (clapping) “Man, Mr. President.” And everybody at Clooney’s house tonight is gonna really feel special and they’re gonna feel like they’re part of history and they’re gonna think something really major, of profound and crucial importance has happened, and not a thing has happened.

Not one substantive thing has happened. And Obama’s gonna soak it all in, and he’s gonna leave there. “You know what? There really isn’t anybody better than I am. There isn’t anybody more thoughtful, compassionate. I own those people.” He’s gonna walk out of there, “I had Clooney. I had every damn one of these people in the palm of my hand, and they paid $40,000 to spend a couple minutes with me.” Not one thing will have changed. Not one substantive thing will have happened. Everybody in the room will be lying to each other about all this has gone on, but that just confirms what? It’s never the substance or the results that really count. It’s the intentions.

Obama’s getting accolades for his good intentions. Praised for his good intentions. And all the people in the room, they’re gonna end the night thinking they’re better than everybody else, they care more than anybody. They have put their money behind gay marriage, when nothing’s changed and they haven’t done diddly-squat, but they’ll tell themselves otherwise.

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