There was a movie last night that I thought was gonna win that didn’t. I know it wasn’t eligible because it didn’t start until this year. Wag the Contraceptive. Like Wag the Dog. A movie about a fake war. It was on television, Wag the Contraceptive, and better than anything that was on the roster of possible best movies last night. Wag the Contraceptive.

It just continues. It continues and now, ladies and gentlemen, your host, I, the adorable, the lovable, the harmless, lovable little fuzzball, it’s right here in the sound bites. I’m overwhelmed, by the way, I got more than I can possibly get in here and that’s sad ’cause it’s all good. I, ladies and gentlemen, I am killing the Republican Party. I, your host, the lovable, adorable, harmless lovable little fuzzball am destroying the party.

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